No one will ever see this

No one will ever see this. Just like no one will ever know I'm here.

I don't know where to begin. At the beginning. That's too hard. Maybe I'll go backwards. Maybe I'll start with today and hopefully it will both be the beginning and the end.

It's a long weekend. Today this person who refers to me as his girlfriend to others but never calls me that said some things to me. Here are the following things he said:

I'm a bitch for certain reasons he names.
The sex is gone out of the relationship and he doesn't have any hope there will ever be any more.
He has decided I don't like sex (he has said this many times). In particular he likes to say I don't like sex with him.
His knew thing to say is that to have a committed relationship sex is a big part and in essence the determining factor for success.
He has decided we are not compatible because I won't suck his penis and because I'm no comfortable with it I must not want to give him any pleasure.
He likes anal sex and because I'm not comfortable with it and it hurts, I don't want to give him pleasure.
He's very chartible and gives me oral sex because I enjoy it. (he's doing me a favour)
He has pointed out which women he finds sexy...those in tight clothing, those who swing their hips just so.
When I feel so bad and self pitying, he kicked me down even further. e.g. I said I was hopeless, he said I probably am.
He screamed telling me I'm a timid driver, screaming at me to turn here, turn there to the point I was crying so much while driving I nearly hit a car and that car would have hit my side, the drivers side, and injured me...badly.
He said he loves me and cares about me that much that he wants to have children with me. (This from the person that said all the above to me today.)
He doesn't even seem sad, upset or anything when I'm crying and hating myself. He will leave me there and has.
He would rather not be around me now that he has hurt and ruined who I am.
Everything is "your fault" or "my fault", never shared.
It's always "me" or "you", never us.
He expects me to cooperate with him, never he cooperate with me.
I don't meet his need

I don't want him in my life.
I don't want him in my head.
I don't want to remember all the pain caused by his words and actions.
I don't want

Craigslist Sucks!

Craigslist used to be so much fun. Now there are so many rules. It's such a pain in the ass. It's always the whiners who want things just so that get things their way ruining the fun for everyone else.

Can't over post. Can't post things like this or that. Who decides? There is no freedom of speach anymore! For example, the following "LOser List" was flagged. Why?!!?!!


You're not an alocoholic

you're not one of these fanatic smokers that will leave a girl you're with to go bum a cigarette

you're not homeless

you don't just require someone to gratify you with sex

you don't feel the only real women out there are those that are pregnant and/or have children

you don't go around doing lamaze with a pregnant women rather than spending time with the girl you claim is your girlfriend

you don't choose to drink all night with work colleagues every night instead of spending time with the girl that you're living with

you don't say no with the girl you're living with and sharing a bed with offers to have sex with you ever night, multiple times for a week...as a start!

You're not stupid

You don't tell the girl you're with that her cooking would be better if it was done like this or that especially when she's buying the food and cooking it for you

you don't tell the girl that you're with that you find women that wear these shoes and those shoes more attractive and hot and sexy especially when the girl you're with doesn't have those clothes, can't afford then and YOU, the guy who likes that stuff, can't even offer to buy her the stuff especially when she's willing to try it if it's bought for her.

Titika: Active wear for vacuous people

More overpriced, athletic clothing made by people that don't actually do any athletics. After the rise of lululemon everyone is a clothes designer of active wear for women. But this stuff is shit. The fabric is tough, the logo looks like it's a sticker and the stuff is made in a sweat shop in china somewhere. Sure they use nice bright colours but some of the designs, I don't know many people wearing stuff like that in a spinning class or running a marathon in it. All their models are vacuous and void of any substance. They also don't really take the older person into account. They also don't make clothing for men. Then again, who can really take a man seriously who wears lululemon or any other form of "active wear"? It's not just their clothing that leaves something to be desired or their pricing, which isn't really all that cheap. Their interpersonal and professional skills and courtesy with local businesses leaves a lot to be desired. They are not people of their word. They are dishonest, they forget, they take advantage of others using their "story" to get support and what they want. They use the "Beaches business handshake" to avoid committing to anything in writing and conveniently forgetting what they shook hands over. The one half decent thing about their stuff is that they put a rack outside of unsold items at a reduced price, not reduced enough, of course, but still reduced. They are smart enough to choose locations where real shops of active wear won't waste their time.

Why are there so many unhappy, lonely people in Toronto?

Why the fuck are there so many unhappy, lonely, bitter people in Toronto? I'm so scared I will end up like that. I so don't want to be in the city for fear of turning into some sort of self centered prick, if I already haven't. I've heard about people in Toronto thinking they are the centre of the universe but who has the right to give a stranger advise? There are so many opinionated people in this city and all quite happy to offer this opinion to anyone and everyone. God! I sometimes feel I've started doing that. I hate myself when I catch myself doing it which unfortunately is usually after I've done it.

There are also tonnes of people in relationships with families and homes and lifestyles and even then, they don't seem happy. Always running and rushing around, doing this and that and never really knowing where they're going. Makes no sense to me. Maybe it's just my first experience really living in a city with so my variety in terms of industries, people and everything else but even then, I don't think that's it. It's something else. It almost feels like people have to either fit in in some community or they don't fit in. As for what that community is, I don't know. It can be residential, ethnic, professional, extra curricular, sports, social, political, generation etc. but if you don't fit in or don't belong to one, you seem to end up not belonging and the result seems to be ....
lots of unhappy, lonely people in Toronto.

Toronto sucks.

Bootcamps and dogs - not so fetching

How many bootcamps do we need?
Best Body
Body Buster
Bikini Bootcamp
Belly Bootcamp
Fit Body Bootcamp
Fitchicks.ca
Buns of Steel Bootcamp
fetching (bootcamp for owners and their dogs)
and more!

Bootcamp has become a new form of fitness. When you ask something, what do you do in terms of fitness. Bootcamp is an accepted response.

fetching.ca The owner thinks they are the only new business out there and everyone needs to give them a chance. No one gives anyone a chance. You have to make your chance.

Fucking losers!

Tutor Doctor Malpractice?

There is this tutoring company called Tutor Doctor that was started here in Toronto. They started over 10 years ago. I believe they started with math tutoring. The idea is to go to the students' home and tutor them there, in a familiar, comfortable environment so that they do their best. Sounds like a nice and good idea. Well, through the grape vine, from and friend of a friend of a friend....it seems they charge their students (the parent) over twice as much as they give the actual tutor. So $40 for an hour of tutoring and the actual qualified tutor gets only $18. Now, this was some time in 2003. Now in 2010 how's the doctor's practice? Well, it seems tutor doctor now offers tutoring in all subjects at all levels including university and even the phd level. Right! Not all phd's can teach all courses. As for the rate per hour, well, that depends. What the hell? What does it depend on? It seems the good doctor makes house calls. The doctor comes to your home for free, how generous, gives your child various tests to assess his or her needs, arrives at a conclusion and the tells you what the diagnosis is, prognosis, medication and antidote required. They will also tell you how much it's all going to cost. Interestingly enough, these tutors aren't teachers. Not a problem as not all teachers as the best ones to teach your child with their particular needs. However, who they, this tutor doctor, to decide how much it costs to get help for a particular subject? Just because a subject may be less common than another doesn't mean it should cost more to learn it. Just because you need help at a higher level, doesn't mean it should cost more per hour. Just because you need more help, doesn't mean it should cost more per hour. Just because you are unique and need help that the average instructor can offer, doesn't mean it should cost more. Just because tutor doctor has been around and has grown, doesn't mean they are the best help or help at all. If anything, tutor doctor helps themselves.

Beaches jazz festival fortress

So this was a nice change for the Beaches. There was some life in the neighbourhood and people in it too. Unfortunately, the life only lasted for three days and only for 4 hours each night. Life eagerly started at 7pm each night and was promptly halted at 11pm. It's very sad that music, dancing, food and happiness has to be done within strict time restrictions. But here in Toronto in the Beaches, everything must be done within specified boundaries. There is no freedom unless it's within the bylaws here in Toronto. It was amazing how many police officers there were. At 2-3 at each intersection and a court vehicle, police car, police on bicycles, parking police and even police on horses. And of course they didn't poop and scoop after the horses! The jazz festival itself wasn't all jazz. It was everything, blues, latin music, big band music and even some jazz. It's called the International Beaches Jazz festival. I thought that meant it was known throughout the world. Well, now I know why it's called that, they have groups from all over the world, but, not real well know, if known at all, groups from where ever in the world. They were good but it is very misleading. Toronto has it's own jazz festival just before the Beaches one. I don't understand why the Beaches had to have it's own. But, it seems they've been doing it for 22 years now. I think it's an excuse to finally give everyone in this Beaches area a chance to finally live for a few days and not be forced to live within the strict rules of the white bred leaders of the Beaches community.

Big butted white women licorice thin black men?

Why are there so many half black/half white babies/children in this city? And why is it so many white, blubbery, fat, rolly, polly women end up with skinny, unhappy, black men as the fathers? What's with all these skinny black men sleeping with these big, butted white women? It would be one thing if they looked like a nice happy family but there doesn't seem to be any happiness there. YET, someone that one would associate with happiness occurred between then, at least for a minute for which there is a baby. I just can't figure out how the two people ended up together? I find it hard to believe that all these big butted white women with the little babies barely a couple of years old are just carrying extra pregnancy pounds. That must have been some pregnancy if they now have a but that rivals an IMAX movie screen! And why do these thing black men stick around? There are tonnes of losers out there who just leave and sherk their responsibilities. Are these licorice like black men now all of a sudden responsible and doing the right thing? What do these licorice like men see in these big butted women? Are they all chubby chasers? Or is the predator the but butted white woman cornering the poor licorice thin man? And these babies...they seem so...wild! Which side of the family does that come from? The big butted white side or the licorice thin man side? These babies seem both bouncy like the big butted white side and gangly from the licorice thin side. It's all too confusing for me. Maybe love really is blind!

I never knew you could ruin a Grilled cheese sandwich. I guess you can!

Grilled cheese. This is a good thing. It's a classic. How can you ruin it? Toasted or friend bread with cheese inside. It's not hard to make and it's certainly not hard to ruin either. At least that's what I thought! But, leslieville cheese market managed to ruin it. $7 fucking dollars for a grilled cheese sandwich??!!?!! I figured that there would at least be some serious cheese oozing out of this sandwich. But no! It almost seemed like they used a craft singles slice of cheese between some really, REALLY thick pieces of bread, stuck it in a toaster oven, overcharge you and call it grilled cheese. They use "fancy" cheese which is probably how they justify charging you enough to buy a hunk of cheese and make at least half of dozen grilled sandwiches. They even have grilled cheese sandwiches with bacon, sausage and pear. Who the hell puts fruit in a grilled sandwich??!!?! Some nutty vegan?! If I were to give this leslieville cheese market a rating, I would give it -10 where 0="whatever", 10="fucking a!" and -10="what the fuck was I thinking?!!?"

Are customers always right? I don't think so!

The customer is always right. Bullshit. I think there are some customers that take that statement to an extreme. So this one person calls wanting to try our service. No problem. We have an introductory special. She says she has sisters that would be interested as well. But she's booking an appointment just for herself at this point. A mid morning appointment on say Wednesday. She calls shortly after leaving a message saying her sister wants to join her but the appointment must not be early in the morning, 7:30am. Well, this is not an early morning day for me so I don't want to start quite that early, however I compromise and say 8am. She takes it, 8am wed. Wednesday comes, it's 7:30am and she calls telling me she's not coming at 8am because her sister can't make it so she's coming at mid morning for her original mid morning appointment. Very presumptuous of her that her mid morning appointment is still available. Fortunately for her, and unfortunately for us, it is. Her mid morning appointment time comes along and no client. She doesn't come until 20 mins later. She is still given her full hour long appointment because she's...well let's say considerably learning challenged. She then decides to come later in the week and try a group session and books a spot. No problem. Early that morning before her group class she calls and says she's not coming. A day later she calls wanting to make an appointment for her sister and herself. No problem. This time we know she's trouble and will probably be late if she shows at all. Sure enough she's not on time. We wait and then decide after 15mins she's not coming. Doors are locked, shop is closed and we go on with life. Phones are turned off as well. 30-45mins later messages are checked and sure enough there are calls from her and her sister and various others looking for us. Sure enough they were late and expected us to be there ready and waiting for them. We call back, ask if they'd like to reschedule. They say they've found another place to go for the same service. Good luck....to that poor business that has to deal with this lot!

This may be a side note but these people are foreign, live in a foreign country where educators, which they are, are respected, service people are always waiting around to service and the customer can come and go as they please and they are always right. Some people need to go back to their country and stop polluting this country with the worst of their culture. Respect for another person's time seems to be something that other parts of the world, in particular Asia, don't seem to hold as a value. Fucking asians!

Pilates Studios Reception

I have tonnes to say about pilates studios. I'm going to start with reception. I got the worst reception from this one studio. I went into to buy some stuff. I knew this place would have the stuff because they have all their merchandise online. So, I go there, ask the reception if they have what I'm looking for because I don't see it on display, a magic circle. She looks at me with this vacant look. It burdens her to check in the back. She finds it, brings it out and asks if I am interested in buying it. I say yes. But also say I am interested in some other items that I don't see on display for customers just samples. I want to try them all which aren't all on display and would like to talk to someone knowledgeable if she can't help me decide what to buy. You see I want to buy a large number and want to see what the produce is like. I want bands and toning balls of different tensions and weights. But of course they don't have a sample of each tension and weight for me to try. The receptionist has a hard to walking to the back to look for sample either. Heaven forbid I don't buy anything. BUT, it seems if I want to buy more than one of any item, I can't. How is that good for business? So, I buy one item, the first one..the magic circle. I ask for a bag. She says "We don't have any back that fit it." Well, I know this is not true. I bought one of these magic circles just over a year ago from the same place AND I was given a bag and the magic circle fit inside. Bunch of snots, pilates people. No wonder so many people get nothing out of pilates....they don't give much but attitude!

The customer is always right except when they're in a Pickle Barrel!

So I have to go to Yonge and Eglinton area for errands and appointments, lunch is approaching and I'm hungry. I really need some food...a big steak would be nice but whatever is offered at the local Pickle barrel would be fine and even more welcome in an air conditioned, quiet environment. A nice booth by the window watching all the hot sweater Toronto-ites rushing around aimlessly around the corner of Yonge and Eglinton getting no where! I stood by the entrance waiting to be served. The hostess looked at me vacantly like I wasn't there they finally asked for how many. I said one. She sort of smiled. Then this group of four, two women, a baby and a small child barged ahead. They're more important because they are more than one, I guess. Anyway, the hostess seated us....I got some crappy little table in the middle of the rushing chaos and the barging party of four got a nice table elsewhere. I then asked if I could have a seat by the window. Apparently, there is a minimum of two people to a booth. I said oh. Sat, then just walked out. Whatever happened to the customer is always right? Not at the Pickle Barrel. I guess the woman did me a favour. I then remembered about this really amazing pizza place at Yonge and Eglinton, Mondato, went there and sat where ever I liked. Don't waste your time at the Pickle Barrel. Go across the street for real pizza at Mondato.

FRIENDS OF WHAT?.. IN TORONTO (THE GOOD?)

So, yesterday I went to various locales and events for Canada Day. BTW, this is an actual event in other places in this country, not a loose agglomeration of tepid foreigners with cheap, shitty Canadian flags and pins and huge cameras. Just a thought.

In any event, I chanced upon Buck 65 at Nathan Phillips Square (c'mon City Hall, would some grass to sit on be such a fucking hardship? You can carry the industrial motif too far y'know..), and while he was enjoyable and obviously working hard for the enjoyment of the lukewarm plebs, I was concerned at the ironic activities of the title sponsor. There was a tent titled the TD Friends of the Environment (I know, funny huh?) and a team of 'volunteers', mostly pimply teenagers being directed by a few TD employees (no doubt doing their 'corporate social responsibility' time). They had a really large banner, of the vinyl variety, perhaps twenty feet long, attached to a fence and were letting people paint on it with some sort of coloring. Then they took it into the only real grass at Nathan Phillips Square (the area fronting Queen) and washed it down with buckets of 'water' and dumped it into the grass! Nice!!! I only saw the once, but then it was late in the day. Wonder how often they'll do this during the Jazz Festival.

Real environmentally friendly. I'd just like to commend them for this incongruous, poorly planned planned activity. Way to live up to the name. Next time I need to 'launder' some money I know where to go.

Another reason to hate having to live here, and more justification why everyone who doesn't live here hates those of us who do.

C'ya.
FU TO

Extreme con artists

Everyone wants to be fit. Everyone wants to work out, loose weight, be thinner, run faster... And all those that don't want to be fit are claiming to be able to make you fit. There are so many boot camps! Those that give you the Best Body, those that target your Belly, those that are Body Busting, those that you do with your dog. There are others just for women, I'm sure there are boot camps just for kids. Then there are gyms. So many gyms. All with the usual equipment and classes and fees. Yes, those monthly fees that they just subtract out of your account. There are tonnes of studios out there. Studios for dance, yoga, pilates, martial arts...the list goes on. While most studios don't suck money out of your account yet they certainly don't have a problem overcharging you. Yoga classes are great, for them anyway. They get you to bring your own mat, cram you into a room like sardines, don't provide air conditioning and call it hot yoga. You loose tonnes...most of it water, the rest your money. The Pilates studios are different. If it's a mat class they're trying to do what the yogis do, make you provide your own mat, cram you into a room and get you to roll around on your little mat without bumping into anybody. This you can find just about anywhere...churches, gyms,.colleges, community centres, offices....all claiming to give you abs of steal at the end. Most people leave feeling nothing except a pain in the neck from holding their head up the entire time. BUT you got to a studio for Pilates and everything changes. Class sizes are limited, you pay a premium to use equipment and they make you pay outrageous prices to even start group classes. Tonnes to say about Pilates studios. That's another blog.

The only way you're going to loose any weight is by giving these fitness places all your money. I think people are better off sitting on their asses in front of the tv doing nothing. Less anxiety

Wellness weirdness

Wellness. What is wellness? There are so many wellness practioners, holistic practitioners, homeopaths, naturopaths...so many paths in this city!! And then massage...how many types of massage are there? No, don't tell me. I don't really want to know! And chiropractors. Well I know what a chiropractor is, or at least what they're not. They're not real doctors! But everyone in this city has each of these: a homeopathic doctor, chiropractic doctor, massage therapist and of course a physiotherapist. Why does everyone need all these made up doctors? It makes no sense to me. And the amount of money these people charge! Holy cow! It's enough to make anyone sick!! People here won't take care of their own health through a sensible nutrition and diet, exercise and sleep. Instead, they do whatever they want then pay others to fix their ailing health. AND then they have the gaul to complain about it?!?! Well, of course the chiropractor isn't going to tell you whats wrong with you. They want you to come back. No kidding...the physiotherapist isn't going to give you actual exercises that you're going to do, or rather they're going to give you exercises because after all, if you had done those exercises or related exercises you wouldn't be at the physiotherapist in the first place! I guess what I'm getting at is, why is everyone in this city so lazy and willing to give all these various practitioners their money instead of just making an effort to lead a healthy life? It almost feels like people here have too much money and feel a need to give it a way. I all in the name of wellness....wellness of what though? People or the wellness of an industry of quacks!

Bad hair

There is so much poor quality in Toronto. It's so hard to find anything that is truly good in Toronto. Whether it's a service or a commodity, it's hard to find something good. It just sucks. Everyone in this city is the best and has something to sell. It's both good and bad. Just anyone can stand on a street corner and sell something and someone out there will buy it. For example, there are so many hair salons and barbers out there. How do you find a person who can give yo a good hair cut? It's tough. You either let your hair grow down to your ankles, (there is an old man like that in the Beaches! He obviously has given up trying to find a good barber!) or you keep trying different salons out. Either they are too expensive or just really bad. Take that Fiorio Beauty Academy. Sure the price may be reasonable, $30 for a hair cut/style from one of their students. But, the next time you go there you end up with a different student cutting your hair. Which usually means a different hair cut. And then of course there is the bossy instructor who treats you, the client paying them, like a student bossing you around, telling you want you should be doing with your hair! It's your hair. Do whatever you want with it. They're there to listen to you and give you something you're happy with. Nevertheless, I'm quite unimpressed with the stylists they turn out. I still haven't found a good place. I've tried Yonge and Eglinton, Davisville, the Beaches and Greek Town. Still looking....

Toronto Beaches Poster Nazis

Walking up and down Queen St. East in the Beaches in Toronto this evening I saw something horrible. I saw deliberate poster targeting. All the Best Body posters were ripped off. I was clear someone just walked by, going form pole to pole, ripping off the Best Body posters. At first I thought it was all posters that were targeted, but maybe not. Now I'm not fan of Boot Camps and they're popping up everywhere. I think there are way to many Boot Camps. But what I saw on the south west corner of Scarboro Beach and Queen St. East wasn't right. It was just plain wrong. There was a Best Body poster ripped off and under it was a Balmy Beach poster. But the Balmy Beach poster was not ripped off. Now why it that? I've been told that people in the Toronto Beaches don't like posters. Then why did this Toronto Beaches Poster Nazi not rip off the Balmy Beach poster? I wish had taken a picture. Next time. If I'm lucky, I'm going to take a picture of this Toronto Beaches Poster Nazi. People like you, Toronto Beaches Poster Nazi, lower the property value in a neighbourhood.

Eager Beaver Bastard

So, I wanted to have some stuff distributed door to door. We'd never done this before so we innocently used Craigslist to find someone/company. Everyone uses craigslist for everything, why not this? This is why not. We found these Eager Beaver group at Bathurst and St. Clair. Sounded like a nice sincere fellow. Said he's even do it for us himself. Invited us to contact him to inquiry about the status of the distribution. Met him, seemed ok, as ok as someone can seem at 9am in the morning at Bathurst and St. Clair. Anyway, dropped off the flyers, paid him the money and waited. Never heard back, of course it was raining, don't expect much in rainy weather. Called, emailed, did everything to get his attention to find out if the flyers were distributed, everything short of a balloon-o-gram. Never heard anything. That was over a year ago. Eager Beaver Distribution, 551 Kennedy Rd Scarborough, M1K 2B1, seems to have moved and probably isn't doing much distribution in their new location, but probably doing a good job collecting people's money!

Davisville Psycho

There is this nutjob in Davisville that doesn't let anyone put up posters. Now, he'll put up posters but no one else. We put up some posters last year, along Davisville from Yonge St. to Mt. Pleasant. We thought it was great. Bare poles, buildings, people walking by, clean, nice neighbourhood. Later that night we get a message. Someone threatening to smash our skulls in if we ever poster there again. So what do we do, we poster there again! We were told it was this big guy, riding around on a scooter, who was into animation and such. And we kept our eyes open. We stuck up posters, starting at Mt. Pleasant. We walked towards Yonge on Davisville, sticking up posters on the bare poles, keeping an eye out. We didn't see anything. On our way back, posters seemed missing. Where we thought we put posters, there were none. We could have swore we stuck some up on that pole. We got in the car and sure enough we saw the culprit, in broad daylight, with a knife cutting posters off, clearing the streets of Davisville of posters. We tried confronting him and he just rushed off. Dr. Jamie of Dr. Jamie's Events http://www.drjamiesevents.com is the psycho who leaves death threats on people answering machines if they stick up a poster on a public property in Davisville!

Parking attendants

Parking sucks in toronto! All those lame parking trolls `doing their job` giving out tickets. 90% of those parking snots couldn`t get real jobs so they`re going around throwing their puny carcas around toronto printing out tickets for any car they can find. Most of those parking losers are just trying to meet some sort of quota before the day is out. They`ll prey on any car they find until they meet that quota then they just let everyone park where they want. Must be nice to have a job where you don`t actually do anything but walk around attacking the innocent!

Postering in the Beaches Toronto

The beaches....fucked up neighbourhood in Toronto.

Bunch of inbred, white bred ass wipes that are all living in their little glass houses. I could go on about how I feel about the beaches but this blog is about postering. Let's start with postering in the beaches.

Belly bootcamp. No professional, postering courtesy at all. A pole, with one fucking poster on it. Plenty of space for tonnes of posters and what does Belly bootcamp do? They poster right over the one lone poster on the pole. Why? Makes no sense! You Belly bunch so desparate that you think the painters are going to take you business? Or the dog walker?!? You're not even subtle about Belly bootcamp! On a crowded pole, sure, it's all fair. Cover up the other posters. But when there is space on the pole, why cover up the posters that are there?

Besides, how many bootcamps do we need!!??!! That's another blog!